november, november, november
The weather is rainy and dark and uninviting. The last leaves have left the trees and are now in piles on the ground slowly going from yellow to brown.
I am tired. Unbelievably tired. I am worn out. Unbelievably worn out. I would not mind a couple of days of just being at home and not do much else but drink tea and think “it is a little cold, is it not?” even though the heat is on.
It has been some time since I was here last time. I have been thinking about this space a lot. Well, a lot might be exaggerating, because I haven’t exactly had all that time to think about other things except for work. The past month has been one of many extra hours spend behind the computer at work, lots of take away with colleagues instead of nice dinners at home with J and sleepless nights. The latter has been the worst. I had two weeks where the number of nights I lay awake for hours worrying outnumbered the number of nights I slept through. Last week was fairly nice sleep wise. Then came Thursday and three solid hours of not being able to drift off to the land of dreams. In the morning, J looked at me and shook his head. “Every time I woke up last night and looked at you, your eyes would be wide awake,” he said and I nodded.
Instead of writing too much about a frustrating month and a half, I will instead write how happy I am that it is now (hopefully) over (knock on wood). Work days are supposed to go back to being shorter. I have hopes of leaving the office while H&M is still open. I have hopes of having time in the afternoon and evening to cook a proper meal, blog and have actual conversations with my husband instead of just sighing “I’m so tired” across the table.
I have a lot of catching up to do. I have kisses and hugs to give J. I have friends to see and email. I have things to experience. I have meals to cook and cakes to bake. I have blogs to read and posts to write. I have a life to live. The best thing about life is it allows us to leave things behind, to reset, to have new beginnings. If you see a line drawn in the sand it might be the one I drew when I left work for the weekend Friday afternoon. If you see it, please think of me and see if you can spot me smiling on the right side, the easy side, of it.