15 weeks, 2 days
Do you know how sometimes you write something and your plan is to post it and when you come back from the kitchen and want to run through it just that last time, you realise that you can’t post it? I just wrote that post.
I sure hope it is the hormones making me bitchy and that it will go away when my body realises we have now gone from first to second trimester and that the desire to sleep should wear off and the energy come back. Right now being less tired would be just lovely, but if I could throw in a little pregnancy glow that wouldn’t be half bad either.
My belly is beginning to show. No one thinks “pregnant” when they see me, but they are (or could be) wondering why I am always wearing the same pair of pants and why the pants girl is suddenly wearing skirts all the time. (I haven’t worn jeans for weeks. I have two pair of pants that fit me. One pair is new, but the other is a million years old and before becoming pregnant were the kind of pants I would NEVER wear to work, but apparently things change…) This weekend I tried on an old maternity dress my mother had kept from when she was pregnant with me. As I saw its blue colour and the thin stripes I instantly liked it. My mother urged me to try it on and I did. When she saw me, her first words were “Oh my, you look really pregnant”. And when I looked in the mirror, I was kind of scared. After weeks of wanting a belly, I suddenly saw myself in a dress that made me months (many months) more pregnant then I really am and it kind of freaked me out. I tell myself it is the dress. It is after all 30 years old and things don’t stay in fashion, do they? But I have to admit that some part of it has nothing to do with the dress. A part of it is all about my freaking out that I am indeed pregnant and I will indeed be a lot bigger come spring.
The days are at their shortest right now and I try to suck up as much as I can of the daily seven hours of light. Part of what keeps me alive (apart from cheap chocolate) is the knowledge that come June when the days are at their longest, we will have a newborn. My due date is less than six months away and though I know I still have many pains and pounds to go before I get to see the sweet thing, it is what keeps me going in the dark. That and knowing I have 16 days off starting Friday afternoon…