I am on day three of my maternity leave. For now, it feels no different from having a week off, but I am guessing it will in a couple of weeks and most certainly once the baby arrives. The weather is gorgeous and I had high hopes for tanned arms and getting lots of practical things done, but that will be some other week. Instead I am drinking chamomile tea and blowing my nose, nursing one of those spring-you-should-have-listened-to-your-mother-and-worn-an-extra-shirt-colds.
I haven’t been around much lately. April came and went. I photographed our chocolate eggs, but never got around to posting them and wishing everyone a happy Easter. Last week I finally wrote an entry, but failed to post it. I know I am repeating myself when I tell you that time is slipping through my fingers like sand.
Time flies, and my belly grows. I hesitate to write because I wonder if it will be too much pregnancy and too little everything else. No doubt I feel a lot like a pregnant woman, but I am still so many other things, and I guess it all comes down to me being afraid I might scare people away if they sense that all I am – at least in writing – is pregnant. But I miss my space and I blame myself for not writing. Even if it is about the pregnancy and the thoughts related to me being six weeks (!) away from becoming a mother, it is still writing, and everyday thoughts are better than no thoughts, right?
Friday was my last day at work. The last week was all about wrapping up and saying goodbye for now. I do feel weird about leaving work and not returning until sometime next spring, but I must admit that it has been overshadowed by my looking forward to it. I feel incredibly lucky being able to spend so much time with the baby even though I am not so naive as to neglect the fact that I will also, and likely more than once, feel left out and be wishing for someone to take my baby during the day so that I can return to work and to life as other people live it.
At 34 weeks everything is well. Considering my due date is six weeks away, we still need to buy rather a lot of things, but even if we have decided on what pram to get, ordering it seems to be such a big step. We are trying to talk names, but are not really getting anywhere. We have a favourite for a boy, but it is close to one of our surnames – maybe too close? As for a girl’s name we haven’t got a clue which is rather annoying given that everybody thinks we are having a girl. Both my brother and J’s sister have asked where we are name wise and our “we really don’t know” doesn’t seem to be what they want to hear.
And that is it. Being able to reduce the past 20+ days to a few paragraphs doesn’t exactly thrill me, but I guess that is what happens. Days creep up on you one after the other and all of a sudden the better part of a month has gone by. Tomorrow will be my first day out this week. Two coffee dates and a doctor’s appointment. I am hoping this will mark the beginning of me getting out more and my cold letting go.