I don’t think I was naive going into this whole pregnancy-baby thing. I knew it would be a lot of hard work. I knew days of reading Dostoyevsky on the sofa would be numbered. I knew I would be sleep deprived. And I knew I wouldn’t necessarily shower every day. And despite all of this I still wanted a baby more than anything else in the world.
What our time together has taught me is to value the little things to a degree I didn’t know was possible. Who knew you could feel so satisfied cooking an entire meal without having to dig out your breasts? Who knew that you could feel so grateful for half an hour with your eyes closed in the evening? Who knew that doing the laundry and hanging it to dry outside, meaning you get a break from the baby, would ever feel so good?
This morning as I made my tea, I looked at the stove and there is no denying that it needs cleaning. As I stood there I actually thought to myself that if I could get that done some time this week, I would feel as if I had accomplished something. And when I looked at the tooth paste stains on the bathroom mirror, I felt the same way. I used to need a spring cleaning or getting some other major thing done before feeling satisfied like that. I used to feel guilty for not getting more of the smaller things done. These days I am happy if days allow me to check my email, write a little and nap. And if I get other things done (like making granola as I did yesterday), I feel absolutely flying.
Days are all about the little thing(s).