BOM is (sort of) sleeping in the bedroom and I sit at the computer, staring at the screen, wondering what to do. Journal? Blog? Emails? I have so much catching up to do, I don’t know where to begin. I am five weeks and two days behind on everything.
I was going to post last Friday when BOM turned one month old. I had decided to stay clear of letters to her (because others do it so much better), but I still wanted to write something about the first month with her in our lives. She didn’t like that idea. From 4am and up until 10pm she was pretty much awake and not feeling her best. The only really great thing about that day was knowing that the weekend was right around the corner (= all three of us at home).
I am loving my little girl, we are loving our little girl, but she has, inarguably, changed our life. I knew this would happen. Please don’t think I am this naive person who thought I wouldn’t have sleepless nights and that the diapers would change themselves. I didn’t. But despite being ready for changes, things have just changed in a different way than I imagined. Dinner at the dining room table is no longer something we take for granted and I could have told myself it would be like this, but it was just not something I ever worried about. Just like I didn’t worry about being covered in milk and knowing the shower is one hundred miles away.
The first month with her has been great. I feel as if I have learned more from this month than I have in my entire life and that may not be entirely correct (if you don’t mind me bragging: I do after all speak 3 languages rather well, I am university educated, I have one h*** of a way with feedback when it comes to the spoken word, I can make things grow, and I have yet to meet my match when it comes to baking). The first month has been about getting to know her, getting to know her routines and basically just doing our best to secure her happiness. And that is not the easiest of things. Something tells me that despite a weight scare and breast feeding problems, the hardest part this past month has been adjusting to a new life. I won’t write that the sleepless nights are hard or the crying and screaming or the baby at breasts every three hours, because that is something you should know comes with having a baby. But the whole getting used to it is what is difficult. Yes, she has stomach aches, but we are (so far, knock on wood) staying clear of baby colic. Yes, she had some weight problems, but she is now 4,64 kilos and thriving just as she should be. Yes, I have had trouble getting her to sleep on her side (to avoid flat head syndrome), but right now she is sleeping in the crib on her side so it is not completely impossible.
Last Friday I was so tired I couldn’t think straight. And here I am one week later and I am in an entirely different place. Sleeping has been better this week and I am much calmer. She still cries at night, she still can’t decide whether she wants something to eat or not, she still has some stomach problems, but I am somewhere else. I am at a point where I cherish my days with her, I love waking up in the morning and talking to J about the visible difference that has happened overnight. She is five weeks old and when J returns to work after his vacation (which starts this afternoon, hoorah) she will be eight weeks old. Time flies and even though one day can seem like an eternity it isn’t. One day she will be 13 for an entire year, but at the moment she is five weeks for one week. One week. Or half a week because it gets necessary to tell people she is five and a half week old. Everything is going so fast even though it doesn’t always feel that way and who am I to complain? It is happening right now and I should just dive in and eat it all and enjoy it because it is not coming back.
In honour of her five weeks are five things about her:
- She shares her first name with a famous writer, a novel and a Shakespeare character, and her last name is hyphenated
- Her eyes are blue (though that is no surprise given her parents) and her hair is getting lighter every day (though she doesn’t have as much as her mother did when she was her age)
- Her favourite teddy is going to be a lambskin sheep I bought many years ago. I have decided and I will do my best to keep colourful and fake teddies away from her should anyone try to interfere with my wanting the lambskin sheep to be her favourite
- She has yet to wear pink
- Her favourite fairy tale is that of the girl who had marzipan toes that grew out whenever her parents had accidentally eaten one. She smiles every time we tell it.
We do eat around here, thank God…