the end is near
March is quickly coming to an end and so is my maternity leave. I look forward to returning to the world of the grown-ups, to putting on nice clothes and makeup in the morning, to going out without my daughter, to riding my bike instead of pushing the pram. And at the same time I fear I will miss her so terribly I will spend my days at my desk just starring at the wall and wondering why I didn’t do this or that while I had the chance.
The past couple of weeks I have been trying to get everything done. Once I get back to work I won’t get around to organising the piles on my desk, I thought and bought binders for them, but that is as far as I got. And it is like that with most things on my list of things I ought to get done. I really, really ought to sort out my closet. I don’t know what I have in it. The maternity clothes have been stored away, but the past many months all I have been thinking about closet wise was the nursing friendly tops. What else is in it? When I became pregnant I refused to throw out a lot of things because I thought I would be back in them in no time, but the other day I realised that I now have a lot of too short tops and washed out things I will never wear again.
I feel as if a whole new life is beginning when I return to work in April. All of a sudden I will have so many other things to worry about than whether my daughter will sleep during the day and allow me to take a shower and have a cup of coffee. I am looking forward to it and I am scared shitless at the same time. I feel as if it can go one of two ways: Good or bad. Please let it be good…