Let normal life continue
Something resembling what we think would be a dream house came up for sale recently, and both J and I fell a little in love. With a one year old the idea of a garden seems really nice, and the idea of more space seems heavenly if not divine.
We didn’t look into the possibility of making an offer. We own our apartment so we would have to sell that first, and the house was in a price range that might be just a tad too high for us, but of course that didn’t stop us from dreaming.
We have been doing a lot of dreaming the past week. We couldn’t stop ourselves from talking about the possibilities of this place and how we could renovate it and how it would fit the family we hope to grow in the next 10 years. We were like two giddy teenagers with a crush on the coolest kid in school – the kid that is never within reach.
J told me this afternoon that the house had been sold. In some ways that is good news, because then we can resume our life, continue to pay off our mortgage and stop dreaming about having a bedroom of our own. But I can’t help but feel a little sad and I can’t help but fear that a house like that will 1) not be available again and 2) never be within our reach financially.
I don’t think my mother has ever seen any of the homes she and my dad have lived in as her dream home. And maybe I should get used to the idea that as long as a house meets the needs of your family’s everyday life it is fine and that dreams are after all just dreams. I am thinking that if I do so, I am still allowed to dream about an office of my own where I can type away in private.