All we can do is wait
I was going to write something else. Something happy and cheerful, something I had looked forward to. It is true what they say: What a difference a day makes! I have to write this instead:
I don’t know which leg to stand on. Both are wobbly.
They announced plans to reorganise and cut down at work. This came as no surprise as they have been talking about forever. The surprise was the choice to do it all now instead of over a three-year period as it was originally talked about. This means that should wishful thinking and dreams come true (which I don’t think but still) and the economy gets better in a year or two, some people will have lost a job they could have kept if the decision to do it all at once hadn’t been taken.
I have absolutely no idea where I stand. All I know is that we need to let go of 4 or 5 people in our office (out of a total of 13). And I know that the assignment I spent most of my work days doing will no longer be placed in my office. Some people think this means I will be asked to move office, others (including me) think that this means I will have to do something else or do nothing at all.
If I do get fired, we will manage. Our private economy will be strained but we will manage. When we were told about the upcoming changes, J promised me that he would be able to provide for me and the girl. I knew this already but I needed to ask him and to make him promise he could – and would.
Ironically it was just the other day I thought about wanting to do more to position myself. Blog in my native language, turn to Twitter, try freelancing. One of my resolutions (which I have yet to tell you about) was writing more this year. The main reason is because it is what I love but another reason is the realisation that I need a space of my own with writing of my own that I can show people when or if I have to leave this place. Isn’t that ironic.
Keep your fingers crossed. I will let you know what happens. I think I will need this space no matter the outcome.
I apologise for writing about this in such a strange way. I don’t feel like telling you what exactly it is I do. I think I have told you before, but I can’t write it in this post. I feel I need to write about it but in very general terms to protect myself.