a great 2008

– which echoes in 2009 and further on

Day 2

with one comment

We’re not even half ways through Sunday, the weather is rainy, but I have jazz playing and newly “jammed” apricots on my kitchen counter, and I slept until 7:40 this morning – uninterrupted – and when I got up I toasted bread and ate with delicious French cheese and homemade lemon marmalade sitting on the sofa, feet up, watching Pride and Prejudice.

In vain I have struggled…

Yesterday was an off day and I am determined to make today a better one. Yesterday was a lot of crying, a lot of “I have a beautiful daughter and no matter how much I long for another kid, I have to be happy if our household isn’t meant to hold more than three people”. It was a lot of “why the f***** h*** is it so easy for what seems to be everyone else to conceive”. It was a lot of sad music and sniffing. It was all the things that won’t make it joyous.

My mood lifted as I ate my dinner and stumbled upon Pride and Prejudice among the dvd’s. I love the story, the characters, all the same things that everyone else loves as well. But last night what I loved the most was that it gave me hours on not thinking, of just enjoying a well told story with a heroine that most girls have at some point fallen in love with.

***

June is almost over. I can’t believe July is just around the corner. 2011 hasn’t exactly been my year so far. A rather prominent voice inside my head keeps telling me to just close my eyes and hope the rest of the year will fly by without doing too much damage. Thankfully the nother instinct in me tells me to slow down, to remember that the girl will never be 2 again, and enjoy all the things there is to enjoy even though it’s unavoidable that these will be mixed with tears.

July, August, September, October, November, December. It’s just six months. If the months of 2011 can’t be new beginnings hopefully 2012 can. In that case it’s just 6 months away. If 2011 decides to surprise me and months really can be new beginnings I need look no further than 4 days. I am hoping for the latter.

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(It’s not that I didn’t know already, but loud – LOUD – music and dancing around the living room floor does something to you – something good. Thanks to Sinne Eeg, Abbey Lincoln, Candy Dulfer & Dave Stewart, Fallulah, Gretchen Parlato, Oh Land, Piazzolla, Stan Getz and Fictionplane for putting up with my housewifey and stiff moves last night and this morning.)

(And my deepest apologies to those I forgot. Even though unmentioned you still did a great job at cheering me up.)

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Written by Drew

June 26, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Posted in 2011

One Response

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  1. I’m so glad you did some therapeutic kitchen dancing. There is definitely something very good in that. And I hope that hugs and kisses upon the return of your loved ones were even more therapeutic.

    Keenie Beanie

    June 29, 2011 at 12:55 pm


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