The last weekend of April
It’s Monday and it’s quiet. The boy is sleeping in his Voksi, and I am typing away enjoying the quietness. My husband is at work and the girl is in kindergarten. The apartment is mine.
Last night I ordered a black dress. My uncle died Saturday. He had been ill for many years and he deserved to find peace, but he is the first family member from my parents’ generation to pass away in my family and I loved him dearly and didn’t want him to go.
We celebrated his 75th birthday on the 21st. He was tired, but he was so happy he was surrounded by his family. That Saturday was the day he met baby E for the first time and I am so happy he saw him. I would have been devastated had he not met him. My uncle’s daughter, my cousin, doesn’t have any children of her own so my uncle considered my children and my brother’s children a sort of grandchildren since he didn’t have any of his own.
Baby E has been crying a lot this past weekend. He has stomach aches just like his sister had them when she, like he is now, was just a couple of weeks old. Last night was particularly tough. When it was G, it was just J and I who had to endure the crying, but this time G is affected by it as well. It’s difficult for her to understand why her baby brother is crying and it makes her sad, it makes her cry. My desperation doesn’t make it any easier for her, and last night I had to assure her that I wasn’t mad at her brother. She was convinced my cursing was because I was mad at him, not because I felt desperate walking around with a crying child so clearly in pain.
We went to the park with the kids both Saturday and Sunday. G ran around and had fun and E slept in the stroller. 5 weeks after giving birth, family life was finally how I imagined it would be when 3 became 4. After weeks of breastfeeding problems, recovering from birth and getting used to being one more, family life suddenly, if only for a couple of hours, seemed perfect.
And with all the other things this weekend brough, I needed that. Sunshine and a happy family.