a great 2008

– which echoes in 2009 and further on

Posts Tagged ‘2012

The last words

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It’s time to say my farewell, to write the last words and get on with it (whatever that is).

This began because I wanted a baby. Everyone else around us were having babies, but we weren’t. Five years ago I wanted a great 2008, but all I really wanted was a baby. I got one and I thought I could continue to write, but five years and another baby on, I have to admit that I can’t.

The thing is that since having that baby, most of my life has centered around her. I love that and wouldn’t want it any other way. The problem, however, is that the part of my life that doesn’t center around her, centers around a shitty job, around people who doesn’t believe in me. I am no fun to be around – in person or in writing.

I want a great 2013, I really do, but I am having trouble believing in it and what I really don’t want is to document not getting it. My diary will be more than enough proof of that.

So I am signing off. These are my very last words. I wish I could have ended this on a high note, but at least I am ending it now before I go even further down the road of misery.

I’m trying to figure out what I want from 2013, but I don’t know. A little bit of peace would be nice, so would recognition. For a while I thought a new job would help, but I am no longer so sure.

One thing hasn’t changed since back in 2008: I am still hoping for a great year, I am just choosing to do so in silence.

Thank you if you read and all the best.



Written by Drew

December 4, 2012 at 10:46 am

Posted in 2012

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